I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
youre lurking in front of me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
