Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
