If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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