oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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