Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
