I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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