You're my little dorito
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
