worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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