Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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