I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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