Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
