She just used a chaser for red wine.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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