Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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