Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
