let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
