This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
