Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
