That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
