Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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