To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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