You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
