I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
