Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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