You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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