Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
