I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
