Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
