guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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