I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize