i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
