Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
