come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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