last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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