Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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