I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
