..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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