Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
