i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
