Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize