Pappa wants mamma naked
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
