So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
