he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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