I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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