You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
