Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
