I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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