Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
