Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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