Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
