mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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