Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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