Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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