Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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