just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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