remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
