the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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