I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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