it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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