Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
