You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
