Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
