As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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