never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
